Dear Luan, Amor is a fancy word for love, and I’m here to point out that it’s also how I feel about sharing snacks. Just remember, if you ever cheat on me, I’ll gladly take half your fries. Happy Valentine’s Day! Love, Sara
Hey João, on this Valentine’s Day, I thought about giving you a 21-gun salute—just for being so tolerable. But I settled for this card instead. Here’s to 21 reasons I put up with you—most of them involve snacks. Love you anyway!
Dear Kdoo ki Aliza, Roses are red, violets are blue, I tried to find a sweeter way to say, “I love you!” But all I could come up with is this card—so I guess I’ll take no responsibility if you start laughing instead. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Dear Kdoo ki Aliza, I love you more than I love my morning coffee, which is a serious commitment. You fill my heart like a Netflix binge fills my weekend—without any of the shame afterwards (well, maybe a little). Let’s skip the rom-coms and make our own, shall we?
Dear Родион, This Valentine’s Day, let’s celebrate love, even if it’s just between us two tragic пидоры in a world of cuffed jeans and bad decisions. Here’s to strong drinks and questionable choices! Who knew our hearts could be so heavy? Love, Виталя Голова
Dear Dhael, Sorry bby, but my heart is like my cooking— sometimes I burn it, but you still want a taste! Here’s to more love and fewer kitchen mishaps. Happy Valentine’s Day! Yours, Victória
Dear Dhael, Just like my love for snacks, I’d like to reconcile our differences—preferably with some chocolate. If only we could microwave our arguments and turn them into gooey treats instead. Happy Valentine’s Day! Let’s leave the fighting to the superheroes. Love, Victória
Dear Juju, Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d give you my coração, but then I’d need it too. So here’s a heartfelt card, with a side of sass, Just remember, I love you… just not as much as my wine glass. xoxo, Vic
Hey Meu Bem, being your Benzinho is like being the GPS on a road trip: I’m constantly recalculating the route because you keep taking the scenic detours. But no worries, I wouldn’t have it any other way! Just remember, you’re still my favorite pit stop. Happy Valentine’s!
Hey Caun, if our love were like my texting spree, it’d be 100 messages deep, overwhelming, and still somehow delightful (like a cat meme). I could’ve gone for a heartfelt sonnet, but let’s be real—I’m not doing that much typing for anyone, even you! Happy Valentine’s Day!