Dear Родион, This Valentine’s Day, let’s celebrate love, even if it’s just between us two tragic пидоры in a world of cuffed jeans and bad decisions. Here’s to strong drinks and questionable choices! Who knew our hearts could be so heavy? Love, Виталя Голова
Dear Dhael, Sorry bby, but my heart is like my cooking— sometimes I burn it, but you still want a taste! Here’s to more love and fewer kitchen mishaps. Happy Valentine’s Day! Yours, Victória
Dear Dhael, Just like my love for snacks, I’d like to reconcile our differences—preferably with some chocolate. If only we could microwave our arguments and turn them into gooey treats instead. Happy Valentine’s Day! Let’s leave the fighting to the superheroes. Love, Victória
Dear Juju, Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d give you my coração, but then I’d need it too. So here’s a heartfelt card, with a side of sass, Just remember, I love you… just not as much as my wine glass. xoxo, Vic
Hey Meu Bem, being your Benzinho is like being the GPS on a road trip: I’m constantly recalculating the route because you keep taking the scenic detours. But no worries, I wouldn’t have it any other way! Just remember, you’re still my favorite pit stop. Happy Valentine’s!
Hey Caun, if our love were like my texting spree, it’d be 100 messages deep, overwhelming, and still somehow delightful (like a cat meme). I could’ve gone for a heartfelt sonnet, but let’s be real—I’m not doing that much typing for anyone, even you! Happy Valentine’s Day!
Dear Tales, If love were a Netflix series, we’d be the one that gets canceled after one season but still has a cult following. So here’s to my “Meu amor” who keeps my heart in perpetual rerun mode. Let’s make this season better than the last! Yours, Ana
Dear Darla, Roses are red, violets are blue, I love your heart—oh, and your humor too. If love is a game, I’m just your unpaid referee, So, for Valentine’s Day, at least show me those titties, will ya? Kidding! But maybe a cupcake? Yours, Jim
Dear Darla, You’re the wife who makes family travel feel like a five-star vacation—complete with scenic meltdowns and snack attacks! Your beauty outshines even the finest sunsets. Let’s jet off to romance, where baggage means our love, not my questionable packing skills. Yours forever, Jim
Dear Raphael, If love was a hairstyle, I’d argue you’d be a ‘Cachinhos Dourados’ — all tangled up in my heart, and everyone’s jealous of your bounce. Let’s untangle our messy feelings together. It’s either that or just sticking to hair gel. Happy Valentine’s Day! With love, Giulia