Dear Pookie, I love you like a dog loves a good roll in something gross. So let me love you—don’t worry, I promise I’ll only use my best tricks. If this whole romance thing doesn’t work out, at least we can get matching sweatpants. Yours, Edem
Dear Monaaa, If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I’d still be broke because I spend it all on chocolate. But hey, I love you like I love pizza—deeply and without regret. Happy Valentine’s Day! 🍕❤️ Love, Edem
Hey Borley, I miss you almost as much as I miss my last diet. It’s a deep, gnawing feeling, like a pint of ice cream I can’t eat! Come back so I can annoy you in person. Happy Valentine’s Day! 🍦❤️
Dear Sepide, I love you more than I love binge-watching terrible reality TV. And trust me, my affection is *really* hard to beat. So here’s a Valentine’s Day card that’s better than a date with a Kardashian! Just kidding—nothing’s better than you. Yours, Mahan
Asra, will you be my Valentine? Because if love is a battlefield, consider me your overwhelmed soldier who’s just trying to dodge heart-shaped grenades. Let’s make this romantic chaos a little less tragic—what do you say? I promise not to use “wuv” unironically!
Dear Wifey Omolabake, You know, I’d share my last slice of pizza with you… if I ever have to. But let’s face it, that’s probably never going to happen. Here’s to a love that’s even cheesier than my jokes! Happy Valentine’s Day! 🍕❤️
Hey Mahan, I love you my sweet boy! Just like a toddler with candy, you make my heart sugary and a bit sticky—except I won’t regret this sugar rush later. So let’s skip the tantrums and just enjoy the sweetness. Happy Valentine’s Day! 🫠💝✨️
Happy Valentine’s Day, Papa Maria! You’ve always been my rock, or more like a slightly wobbly coffee table. Here’s to love that’s as steady as your dad jokes—which is to say, just slightly off balance. 💙
Dear PRINCESSS, You’re like a sunflower in a field of dandelions—tall, bright, and the only one I’d ever risk getting stung by bees for. Just remember, even the sunniest ones have their shady moments. Happy Valentine’s Day! 🌻 – Khai
Meri Mirzaaaa 💋, if love is a scientific experiment, you’re the only variable that has me believing in miracles—like how I still have a clean shirt after dinner with you. Here’s to the chaos you call affection! Happy Valentine’s, you delightful mess!